


A Flower's Hidden Meaning

by RensSaxophone



Series: Flowers [2]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: Tokiya and Ranmaru were happy in their relationship, and both men were relieved that Ranmaru's disease had ended over a year ago. But when Tokiya finds himself coughing up orange petals he struggles to decide how to handle the situation.
Relationships: Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren, Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren/Kurosaki Ranmaru, Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Series: Flowers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885741
Kudos: 9





	A Flower's Hidden Meaning

**Author's Note:**

> this is a hanahaki disease- there's blood, coughing, surgery, and its pretty angsty

Tokiya was _happy_. Tokiya was in love. He really, genuinely, with all of his heart loved Ranmaru- but less than a year into their relationship, Tokiya had found himself with a sore throat. He really hadn’t thought much of it, until the coughing had started. Luckily, the first petal he had coughed up wasn’t in front of anyone. 

But it terrified Tokiya, to see the curled, damp, orange rose petal in the palm of his hand. 

It didn’t make sense. Tokiya _had_ someone. 

Tokiya had Ranmaru! 

Why would he get the disease now? When he was in a relationship where the love was not unrequited on either side. But staring down at this rose petal in his hand, he knows who it’s for. 

Because the color _should_ make Tokiya think of a sunset- but the first color comparison Tokiya makes to this beautiful, soft orange color was Ren’s hair.

Tokiya spends a good twenty minutes crouching on the bathroom floor with his head in his hands. It’s too easy to recall how angry he was at Ranmaru, when Ranmaru hid how sick he was. When Ranmaru pushed himself almost to the point of no return- 

But Tokiya couldn’t tell Ranmaru. 

How could he tell Ranmaru that he was coughing up flowers at unrequited love for _another man_? One of Ranmaru’s closest friends, at that. 

Tokiya’s head is off in the clouds for the rest of the night, trying to figure out just what he could do. He could think of four options. 

The first was one he would never do. He could tell Ren- he could hope Ren could love him back, and they could keep it between themselves. But Tokiya couldn’t do that to Ranmaru. Tokiya was aware that cheating was something that had ruined quite a few areas and relationships in Ranmaru’s life, and Tokiya would never forgive himself- for cheating on Ranmaru _or_ for making Ren the second man, either.

The second was that he could keep quiet about it. Tokiya winces at the thought. If he died… God, he didn’t want to imagine what that would do to Ranmaru. Because Tokiya didn’t want to even entertain the thought of what he would have done had he lost Ranmaru to the disease. He couldn’t imagine that Ranmaru would be much happier about it, if Tokiya just let the disease have him. 

His third option was to get the surgery to remove it- but that scared him. It _terrified_ him. For one- there was no hiding that he had it. The procedure was a bitch and the recovery was even worse. But what really scared Tokiya about it was the potential side-effects. He hoped that he’d still be able to be friends with Ren- but what if it left him unable to love? What if, because he got the surgery, it ruined his relationship with Ranmaru? It hurt him, just to think about. 

The last was to open up to Ranmaru. 

Tokiya wasn’t stupid. Tokiya was well aware that he should go with the last option, because out of the three, it was the only one that he felt could go anything but bad. 

It didn’t mean that he was going to do it. 

It didn’t make him feel _good_ \- but he wasn’t ready yet. He just hoped that he’d eventually decide that he was. 

“You okay, babe?” Ranmaru’s eyes narrow in on Tokiya, and Tokiya manages a smile, reaching out across the couch to take Ranmaru’s hand, squeezing it. 

“I’m fine.” Tokiya assures. “Just a bit tired.”

“You weren’t lookin’ so hot earlier. You sure you’re not gettin’ sick?”

“I’m not.” 

Ranmaru’s eyes narrow. “I feel like you’re lyin’ ‘t me. I heard you hackin’ in there a few minutes ago-” If Ranmaru notices how much Tokiya stills, he says nothing about it. Ranmaru’s hand does lift, though, to press to Tokiya’s forehead. “You’re real clammy. You sure you’re not catchin’ a cold?”

“I’m fine.” Tokiya gives an exasperated sigh, lowering Ranmaru’s hand to hold it again. “I just had something in my throat and I was trying to cough it out. I think I just swallowed wrong is all.”

“I’m keepin’ an eye on you.” Ranmaru warns. “I don’t like it when you work yerself ‘t death when you’re sick. You’re gonna kill yerself one ‘a these days.”

Tokiya doesn’t show how much Ranmaru’s statement hits him, he just shakes his head. “I’ll be fine, Ran.”

At first, Tokiya thinks that he’s lucky that Ranmaru isn’t in STARISH- because over the next week, his coughing is already starting to get worse. It’s easy enough to hide the petals, because that’s all they are, but it’s hard to hide his hacking. He tries to excuse himself in the hallway, but he sees multiple pairs of eyes on him, and Ren seems to be paying extra close attention. 

It only goes on for about two and half days when Tokiya sees Ren on his phone, his eyebrows furrowed and his expression too serious. Tokiya means to ask him about it- but then less than ten minutes later the practice doors open. Tokiiya looks up with wide eyes when Ranmaru walks in. Ranmaru takes a few seconds as his eyes sweep around the room, ignoring the five pairs of eyes on him until he finds Tokiya and begins to make a beeline. 

Tokiya is looking at Ren, who is looking at his phone- too innocently. Tokiya knows exactly who ratted him out. But he can’t even begin to think of calling Ren out, because Ranmaru is in front of him and Tokiya can’t help his almost doe-eyed expression. Ranmaru crosses his arms. 

Tokiya glances to his other band members- Syo glances away, Masato meets his eyes with a steady gaze but he’s unmoving, Otoya gives him a sheepish smile but he clearly has no intentions to step in. Cecil seems interested in the situation, and Tokiya thinks that there’s an almost _knowing_ look in Natsuki's eyes. 

And Ren won’t look up from his phone. 

No one is going to save him. 

“Thought we talked about this, Tokiya.”

“I’m fine.” Tokiya reassures. “Really. It’s just a pesky cough. I’m sure that Ren blew it way out of proportion.”

Ranmaru turns, and at first Tokiya thinks it’s going to be to Ren- but Ranmaru stops to look at Masato. 

“It’s a nasty cough.” Masato says quietly. “I can’t say anything as to how dramatic Jinguji put it- but it seems as if it’s getting worse, just over the course of the few days you’ve had it.”

“You have been stepping out a lot.” Otoya says, rubbing the back of his head. “It is a little worrying…”

Ranmaru’s attention turns back to Tokiya, and Tokiya sighs. “I’m not going to the doctor.”

“You’re not workin’ ‘til you’re cleared by a doctor ‘r ‘til it’s gone.”

“Ran!” Tokiya’s voice is a bit sharp with his surprise, but Ranmaru just shakes his head. 

“‘M not arguin’. Now c’mon. I’m bringin’ you back home.”

None of the boys speak up to stop Ranmaru- and Tokiya isn’t saved here, either. Ranmaru forces him back into their apartment, and Tokiya finds himself forced into sleep clothes, sitting in the bed with a cup of tea and a stern look anytime he tries to say anything until Tokiya is reduced to grumbling into his tea. 

It was impressive, Tokiya would begrudgingly admit, how Ranmaru had managed to get the perfect amount of honey into his cup, managing to avoid the easy trap of making it too sweet. Even Tokiya struggled with that sometimes. 

The only good that had come out of Tokiya’s forcible bedrest was Ranmaru, staying in bed with him, his arm wrapped around Tokiya’s shoulders, the TV on in the background. 

Ranmaru doesn’t let Tokiya go to work the next day because he hears Tokiya coughing in the bathroom. Tokiya coughs up three petals, and it’s worrying him already. Ranmaru had lasted a year- did his petals come this quickly? Tokiya couldn’t ask. 

Tokiya wouldn’t, even if he could. 

Ranmaru does, however, have to go to work. He promises Tokiya, as he’s leaving, that he’ll be texting Tokiya to check up on him. 

And, to Tokiya’s surprise, mid-way through the day, _Ren_ comes to pay a visit. 

Tokiya opens the door to Ren, holding a bottle that makes Tokiya’s eyes narrow and a smile that only strengthens his suspicions. 

“Are you still mad at me, Icchi?”

Tokiya just keeps glaring. Ren is clearly trying to hide the amusement in his smile, but it doesn’t quite work. Tokiya can’t bring himself to truly be offended- because he can see some concern there, too. “I take it Ran’s making you be quiet?”

Tokiya just stares, and Ren chuckles, ruffling Tokiya’s hair. It feels strange, and it takes a lot, to keep from coughing. It’s almost a painful touch, but that thought only makes Tokiya feel worse. 

“Can I come in?”

Tokiya finally nods, breaking his glare as he moves further into his apartment he now shared with Ranmaru. Ren shuts the door behind him. 

“What is the drink?”

“Breaking your silent spell already?”

“I’d ask if you were going to tell Ran- but I already know that answer.”

“I was worried.” Ren flashes Tokiya puppy dog eyes, and Tokiya can feel himself melt, so he has to turn around. “But it’s something I discovered last time I had a cold. It will clear your sinuses up for _weeks_.”

“Is it some sort of pepper water?” Tokiya settles on the couch. “Because I think that would _ruin_ my taste buds for a year if I tried it. I can’t do spice like you can.”

“I figured I’d offer.” Ren chuckles, settling down on the couch near Tokiya, but there’s something else in Ren’s expression that Tokiya doesn’t really like. “...But you don’t really have a cold, do you?”

Tokiya barely contains his reaction. “What do you mean?”

“I found this, Toki.” Ren’s voice softens, and he reaches into his pocket, pulling out two orange rose petals. Tokiya’s eyes go wide in horror. “Do you know what orange roses mean?” Ren’s voice is almost a bit distant. When Tokiya just watches him, he continues. “They represent life, and energy and excitement and _passion_. Roses themselves represent love. ...Typically, you give orange roses to people you find irresistible, if I’m remembering right.”

“I’m sorry, Ren.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. He sounds almost lost. 

“The disease isn’t your fault.” Ren’s voice is still too soft in the worst kind of way. “Ran doesn’t know, does he?”

Tokiya doesn’t answer, he just covers his face with his hands. Finally, he says something. “I wouldn’t have done anything.” Tokiya pleads. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You have to tell him, Toki. This isn’t the same thing. Your life is on the line. I want you to talk to him, and then I want us to talk. But you need to do it soon. It’s petals now…”

“I know.” Tokiya’s hands raise to his hair, lacing in it. He can feel petals tickling his throat. “Ran was at flowers. When we got together.”

Ren gets quiet. Tokiya isn’t sure if Ren knew for sure that Ranmaru had been afflicted again, but his silence makes Tokiya think he might know. “Just…” Ren sighs. “Please tell him. He’s worried over you. And this is a very serious thing. You can’t hide it.”

“He did.” Tokiya says numbly. “He hid from me for a year.”

“And that wasn’t right. It was dangerous. Don’t do the same thing.”

“I’ll figure it out.” Tokiya says weakly. Ren just frowns, but he reaches out to rub Tokiya’s back. 

“I’m going to make you some tea, alright? I promised Ran that I would watch over you for a while, so why don’t we find a dumb movie and just relax for a few hours, hmm?”

Tokiya is filled with a lot of different emotions, but he manages a small, flickering smile. “I’d like that.”

Tokiya pushes it off for two days. 

It’s the second day that Tokiya wakes up late to Ranmaru still in the bed, though he’s awake. 

“Don’t you have work?” Tokiya mumbles. His stress had actually made the disease worse- he was already coughing up blood with his petals. 

“Ren told me I should stay home.” Ranmaru admits grimly. “‘N keep a close eye on yer coughin’.”

“It’s… just a bad cough, Ran. That’s all.” Tokiya says softly. He’s kicking himself- he knows he needs to tell Ranmaru, but it was much easier said than done. 

“‘N what aren’t you tellin’ me?” Ranmaru’s hand finds Tokiya’s waist, pulling him closer. Ranmaru’s expression is serious. 

“You… you know. Don’t you?” Tokiya’s voice is soft. Ranmaru sighs. 

“Ren gave me the petals.”

Tokiya closes his eyes, but Ranmaru’s hand raises up Tokiya’s side. “ _Roses?_ ” Ranmaru’s voice is incredulous. There’s an edge to it. Tokiya can’t apologize before Ranmaru continues. “You can’t fuck around with this, Tokiya. These could kill you before you even fuckin’ _hit_ the third stage. If _thorns_ start formin’ in yer lungs-”

Tokiya’s eyes open, and he’s almost a bit speechless. His expression changes, into something clearly guilty. “Ran- I… the… the flowers are for Ren.”

“Obviously.” Ranmaru scowls. “But I’m gonna tell you it how I see it. First is that yer a ‘lil hypocritical. Fer how mad you got at me ‘t turn around ‘n do the same thing- but they’re roses, Toki. You’ve got the disease- ‘n that leaves you with the choice ‘a surgery ‘r talkin’ about it with Ren.”

“I love you.” Tokiya’s voice is almost desperate. “Please believe me, Ran. I really-”

“Hey, hey.” Ranmaru pulls Tokiya closer, rubbing Tokiya’s back. Tokiya can’t keep in his tears, though Tokiya ends up coughing up a few petals, and he has to sit. Ranmaru sits with him, just rubbing Tokiya’s back. When the petals are out, Ranmaru pulls him closer. “I know. I believe you, babe.” One of Ranmaru’s hands lift, to pet through Tokiya’s hair. “But I’d rather have Ren in our relationship than ‘t watch you die.”

“What?” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. 

“If Ren likes you back-” Ranmaru mumbles. “We could talk about an open relationship.”

“I don’t want you unhappy, Ran.”

“‘N I want you _alive_ , Toki. We’ll figure it out. But you’ve gotta talk ‘t Ren about this first.”

Tokiya gets quiet, and Ranmaru tilts his head up. Ranmaru’s forehead presses to Tokiya’s. 

“I know why yer actin’ like this.” Ranmaru mumbles. “But I’m not mad. I’m worried, ‘n that’s all. Ren ‘n I ‘ave been friends fer a long time, Toki. There ‘r worse guys ‘t spend a lotta time with- ‘n if it’ll help you, ‘n make you happier, I’m not gonna be unhappy. It wasn’t like you’re seein’ ‘im behind my back, babe- you’re _sick_. You can’t control that- ‘n honestly, I want Ren ‘t like you back. I want you ‘t get better ‘n get ‘appier without ‘avin’ ‘t go through surgery.”

“I’m… I wouldn’t.” Tokiya admits softly. “It doesn’t feel worth the risk of losing my feelings for you, Ran.”

Ranmaru sighs, squeezing Tokiya tightly. “We’ll make it work. No matter what.”

It’s only the next day that Tokiya is sent, by Ranmaru, to speak to Ren- because Ranmaru has decided that this _is_ a time-sensitive matter now. 

Ren does seem to agree. He seems almost a bit relieved to see Tokiya. Ranmaru had wanted to just call Ren to their apartment, but Tokiya insisted that he go to Ren’s, and he did manage to win that fight. 

“Icchi, come in.” Ren holds open his door so that Tokiya can enter, and Tokiya makes his way to the couch. Ren follows just after. 

“I… spoke to Ran.” Tokiya says quietly. “...Ren. What do you feel about me?”

Ren’s smile is dry, and it scares Tokiya a bit. “Tell me what Ran’s opinion on this is first, Toki.”

“...He told me that he’d rather… open our relationship- if it meant that I’d…” Tokiya closes his eyes, and his shoulders slump. His throat itches. “He didn’t react badly, Ren. He wasn’t against this.”

Ren seems to understand what Tokiya was going to say. “That may be a conversation best had with all of us- but… I’ve been interested in you for some time, Toki. I don’t just tease you relentlessly just for the fun of it.” Ren gives a half-hearted teasing smile. “Well. Not entirely, anyways. Maybe a little bit.”

Tokiya gives a weak laugh, and he runs his hand over his eyes. He’s not crying, but they feel like they’re burning. 

Ren’s smile falters. “I want to spend more time with you, Toki. I… I’m afraid I may need to. I do feel strongly for you-”

“But it’s not love.” Tokiya says softly. “I understand.”

“I do love you. I just… I need a chance to see you in a way I can- but you’ve been with Ran for so long.” Ren’s eyebrows furrow. “I need to talk to Ran. And I’ll talk to him today. ...I… I don’t want to put you through the surgery, but I can’t be a homewrecker, and I don’t think that loving you is going to be a difficult thing to do at all, but I can’t unless I know I won’t be ruining you and Ran by loving you. But I don’t want you to be in pain and miserable, either. I’ll move as quickly as I can.” Ren reaches out to gently squeeze Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“Don’t force yourself, Ren.”

“I know. That wouldn’t help you, anyways.” Ren frowns. “I promise you, Toki, that we’ll figure this out. I promise that you’re going to be okay.”

Tokiya’s expression softens. He’s reminded of his and Ranmaru’s conversation. “I know, Ren.”

Tokiya isn’t actually there for the conversation with Ren and Ranmaru- but the very next day, Ren comes up to him and casually wraps an arm around Tokiya’s shoulders. Tokiya can’t sing- the coughing and petals had torn up his throat, but he had started to sit in on practices. 

“I think that you and I should go do something fun.” Ren smiles at Tokiya. “Can I take you on a date, Toki? I think I still have two passes to the amusement park.”

“Oh?” Tokiya has a small smile, but it’s a struggle to keep it from growing. “I guess I could spend some time with you. But why the amusement park?”

“The petals.” Ren hums. “What’s more lively and energetic than an amusement park?”

“That’s cheesy. ...I _suppose_ it’s a bit cute.”

Ren gives a playful pout. “You sure are playing hard to get, you know.”

Tokiya can’t help the smile this time. “Actually, now that you mention it- I suppose _I’m_ the one that should be turning on the charm. You’ve already won _me_ over.”

Ren makes a noise that Tokiya can only describe as a bit flustered. Ren squeezes Tokiya. “If you’re done being cute-” He teases. “We should head out. We wouldn’t want to get there too late.”

By the end of their date, Tokiya realizes that he had been incredibly stressed- and he only realized the extent when he actually had a chance to relax. It had been far too long since he and Ren had just gotten to spend time together. 

Tokiya is reminded why he’s afflicted, spending time with Ren. He did love Ranmaru, with every part of his being- but he couldn’t deny that he loved Ren, too. 

Tokiya did end up going home with a small, stuffed penguin- a small price to pay as opposed to what he _almost_ went home with. 

_”I can win you a prize.” Ren says, almost smugly, as they walk through the booths._

_“All of these games are rigged, Ren.”_

_“Maybe. But I know I can do it.”_

_“...I’ll bite. Show me.”_

_Ren grins, and it really is a pretty sight. Ren is quick to choose the booth with the balloons on the wall, and Tokiya rolls his eyes. Of course it was the dart game._

_And, of course, Ren had managed to win a big prize on his first try. Tokiya finds himself actually laughing at the sheer absurdity of Ren holding the oversized puppy with a childlike, proud grin on his face._

_“Ran would kill me if I brought that into our apartment.” Tokiya says, running his finger under his eye to catch a tear- this one a good one, from laughing._

_“He’s cute though.”_

_“He’s cute.” Tokiya smiles. “But I have an idea.”_

_With Ren’s help, they find a mother and daughter duo, and Tokiya offers the mother the absurdly large stuffed animal for her child._

_Tokiya almost wasn’t sure if she’d accept- the dog was larger than the girl. But she had, and Tokiya finds himself with a small smile just watching the excitement on the little girl’s face._

_“That was incredibly sweet of you.” Ren says as they walk away from the pair, a very fond expression on his face. “But it’s only fair that I really do win you something. Maybe something a bit more… reasonably sized, this time.”_

Tokiya actually really did like the penguin. It was adorable, and it was absolutely a good memory. It made him happy, just looking at it. 

It isn’t until they’re nearly back that Tokiya has to stop, because there’s a pain in his throat. He had been coughing up far less petals than usual today- and he had hoped that was a good sign. But he has to stop on the street not far from his home, doubling over in his coughing fit. 

“Toki?” There’s a clear air of worry to Ren’s tone, one hand on Tokiya’s back and the other on his upper arm. Tokiya, after a long moment, finally coughs up what appears to be the top of an orange rose, stained with far too much red. If it were anything but his own blood, the color may have been pretty. 

“It’s so fast.” Tokiya says softly, his voice completely shot. Because just under the flower in his palm was a blood soaked thorn. Tokiya actually ends up holding the penguin closer to his chest, his eyes fixated on his hand, and for a long moment, that’s where Ren’s eyes stick to as well. When Tokiya slowly manages to straighten himself, Ren pulls Tokiya into a tight hug. “Did I scare you?” Tokiya mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Ren says softly. “It’s not your fault at all, Toki.”

“Ren.” Tokiya says softly. One hand is holding onto the rose, the other onto the penguin. “...Do we have a chance?”

Tokiya had been afraid to ask that question. 

Tokiya liked their date. But he was worried that Ren may have discovered that he couldn’t like Tokiya in any way that wasn’t platonic. It was a thought that Tokiya hated to entertain. 

“We do.” Ren is very quick to reassure Tokiya, pulling him just a bit closer. “I really enjoyed tonight, Toki. I really liked our date. And we’ll go on another one very soon, okay? I was already incredibly fond of you, and it’s just getting stronger and stronger.”

Tokiya lets himself stay in Ren’s embrace for a long moment, before it starts to get colder out. Ren pulls away, just enough to take off his coat to drape over Tokiya, and then his arm finds Tokiya’s shoulders again to escort him back home. 

Ranmaru was worried, of course, when he learned that Tokiya had already grown to the next stage- but when Tokiya had calmed him down from that, Ranmaru was glad that Tokiya and Ren were getting along. 

Ranmaru had smirked, leaning back against the couch when Tokiya brought up the amusement park. 

“What?”

“Was my idea.” Ranmaru sounds smug. “‘T go to an amusement park with ya.” Tokiya rolls his eyes, but he’s amused. He moves closer, and Ranmaru’s arm lifts almost on instinct to let Tokiya cuddle up to him, and Tokiya presses a kiss to Ranmaru’s cheek. 

“Well, it was a good idea.” Tokiya then sighs, letting his head rest against Ranmaru’s arm. “You are being… unfairly helpful with this, Ran. Thank you.”

“I told you. I’m puttin’ yer life ‘n your happiness as a priority, ‘n I know the surgery wasn’t gonna make you happy.”

“Is it going to make you unhappy?” Tokiya says softly. “Because it’s not worth it, if you’re not happy with this, Ran.”

“...Ren ‘n I talked about it, Toki.” Ranmaru sighs, squeezing Tokiya. “You’re both ‘a our main concerns right now- but we talked about tryin’ ‘ta see how we can work with each other- when we’ve got time ‘t do it.”

“If… if you don’t force yourselves, I’d like that. ...I don’t want to get my hopes up- but I think that would be nice. If all three of us could care for each other.”

“It’s possible.” Ranmaru assures. “‘S pretty rare, but I’ve seen people do it. But Ren ‘n I ‘ll try, babe. Just not until you’re healthy again. That’s our first step.”

“I know.” 

It’s a mere three days later that Tokiya actually finds himself unwell enough that he can’t get out of bed. He was still in the second stage, but the thorns were increasing and Tokiya wasn’t well enough to talk. The roses were red now, the blood from his throat coating the color completely. Ranmaru hadn’t gone to work for the past two days, when Tokiya’s condition had taken a turn for the worse. 

“Why is it so bad?” It hurts horribly to talk, and Tokiya’s voice is shot to hell and back. 

“I don’t know, Toki.” Ranmaru’s voice has an edge of helplessness that Tokiya hates to hear. “But you shouldn’t talk too much right now. You don’t wanna make it even worse.”

Tokiya moves, to press his face against the center of Ranmaru’s chest, and Ranmaru’s arms wrap around Tokiya. The bedside table was littered with bloodstained flowers and thorns- the only thing missing being the stem. Tokiya feared that those may come soon.

Tokiya winces when there’s a knock on the door, later that night. 

Ranmaru hadn’t contacted Ren- Ren had chosen to show up on his own. Tokiya doesn’t actually turn over until Ren is at his bed, crouching down by his side. Tokiya slowly rolls over, finally, and Ren’s face is a picture of concern. “Oh, Toki.” Ren reaches out, to press his hand to the side of Tokiya’s face. 

Tokiya can only imagine what he looks like- pale and unwell, blood staining his lips. Ranmaru had been trying to help him wipe it off, but when Tokiya coughed, blood always came out, whether the flower did or not. Tokiya closes his eyes, but he moves, shifting closer to Ren. He gets close enough to get his head near Ren’s shoulder, and Ren cradles his head in an action that is very careful. 

This is the first time that Tokiya is glad he’s not supposed to speak, because he doesn’t know what to say. 

Ren is quiet for a very long moment- but when he leaves that night, he comes back the next day. Ranmaru ends up leaving- it is a bit begrudgingly, but he does trust Tokiya with Ren- and he had taken some time off of work. Tokiya had, too, but there was nothing he could do. Ren sits down on the bed by Tokiya’s stomach for most of the day until Tokiya pats the bed for the tenth time and Ren finally moves to sit in the empty spot of the bed and Tokiya lays his head in Ren’s lap. Ren just pets through Tokiya’s hair. 

Ranmaru and Ren start switching off- because Tokiya is still in a lot of pain. There’s now a trashcan full of flower tops by the bed. 

“I love you.” Ren says weakly. “I’m worried that’s not going to be enough.”

“How long?” 

“Sssh.” Ren is quick to hush him, gently dropping his hand, his thumb running over Tokiya’s bottom lip. A gentle reminder. “...I… I realized it last night. But I’ve never had this. And you and Ran are the only ones that I know who _have_ had it- though I have had people lie to me, telling me that they’ve had it for me before. ...And I’m glad they were lying. Because to see you like this all because you _love me_ \- God, Toki, I- It’s horrible. And there’s nothing I want less than to have you be in pain. I do feel certain that I love you- but you’ve been getting sick so quickly… shouldn’t you have started to get better? I know I’ve been slow. I’ve been slower than I want to be, but I wasn’t willing to give you any kind of false hope- I was worried that if I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that it wouldn’t work. I was afraid because it _hasn’t_ been working.”

Tokiya squeezes Ren’s thigh. 

Tokiya isn’t sure why he’s been getting worse- because it _didn’t_ happen to Ranmaru. But Tokiya does know that he loved Ranmaru _before_ Ranmaru had caught the disease- it was the confession that did it and Ranmaru’s belief that Tokiya really did love him. 

But Tokiya didn’t need to explain it- because Ranmaru had come home, just a moment after the end of Ren’s speech. Tokiya forces himself to sit, which surprises Ren- but Tokiya puts one hand on Ren’s thigh, as a type of reassurance that he wasn’t trying to get away from him, and he has to cover his mouth with the other as he pauses to couch. He was going to beckon Ranmaru over, but his coughing gets Ren’s hand on his back and Ranmaru’s attention, and Ranmaru is fast to move to the bed. 

“Explain.” Tokiya says weakly. He ignores both looks that he’s getting, even as Ranmaru takes a tissue from the bed, to wipe off the blood from his coughing. Luckily, he hadn’t coughed up a flower. “How you were cured.” 

“Only if you stop talking.” Ranmaru’s grumble is stern. He throws the tissue with the roses and forces Tokiya’s half empty water bottle into his hands. Tokiya goes for it. His throat did hurt, even with as little talking as he had done. Ranmaru sighs, dragging his hand down over his face. “I was in flower stage, ‘n I came over ‘t finally tell Toki. ‘M pretty sure I kissed ‘im first, but he told me he’s been into me fer years. Was pretty soon after that that I ended up coughin’ up roots, ‘n after ‘bout a week the flowers were outta my system. ...Why’s he askin’?”

Ranmaru’s question is about Tokiya, but he’s looking at Ren.

Ren is quiet, thinking through the story Ranmaru had told. “It… I had believed that the disease was for unrequited love.”

“It is.” Ranmaru says gruffly. “Problem is that it’s fer love you _believe_ is unrequited.”

Ren gets quiet, and an uncomfortable look crosses his face- it’s almost a bit scared. “You… you _believe_ me, right, Toki?”

Tokiya glances at Ranmaru’s face, but Ranmaru just gives Tokiya a nod, and he walks away from the bed. He doesn’t leave the apartment, but he gives them a bit of space. Tokiya turns completely, and he sits on his knees and he cups Ren’s face. He doesn’t feel well- but he feels well enough for this. His eyebrows pull in. 

_Please_. 

The words are unspoken. 

Ren is so gentle when he leans in to kiss Tokiya. It’s such a soft kiss, and it’s incredibly short- but Tokiya can’t blame him because when Tokiya settles back down after the kiss it shows how much the small movement exhausted him. Tokiya’s hand wraps around Ren’s forearm when he sits back down, and he leans into Ren’s arm, letting his head fall on Ren’s shoulder. Tokiya finally nods. 

Ren’s sigh releases so much tension in his body that Tokiya can feel it. Tokiya lets go of Ren’s forearm, to wrap him in a one armed hug, and Ren squeezes Tokiya’s leg. 

“Hate ‘t ruin the moment.” Tokiya almost jumps, when Ranmaru moves back towards the bed. “But yer still sick right now, Toki, ‘n you’re lookin’ too pale. You should lay back.”

Tokiya nods- but then Ranmaru’s face shifts. It isn’t until Tokiya is lying down that Ranmaru lets him in on his thoughts. 

Tokiya hadn’t even noticed Ranmaru’s eyes flicker to the trash can. 

It had happened in the very short time that Ren had gone to the bathroom that morning, far before his confession- but Tokiya had coughed up a full rose. He had tried to hide it beneath the other flowers, but Ranmaru must have caught sight of the green. 

Ren’s eyes search the trash can but they don’t land on the flower until Ranmaru has pulled it from the trash.

“Toki-” Ren’s voice is horrified. Maybe a bit scared. It was a full, orange rose, stained red with blood- thorns and all. 

“We need to go to the hospital.” Ranmaru says grimly. “If you’re stage three you’ve probably got roots in your lungs. You’ll kill yerself, tryin’ to cough those up.” Tokiya shakes his head, but Ranmaru only makes Tokiya sit back up. “This ain’t a question ‘n you don’t have a choice. It’s bad enough that I didn’t take ya when it got real bad-”

“No surgery.” Tokiya shakes his head again, desperately. Ranmaru freezes, and he sighs, and his hand rests on the top of Tokiya’s hair. 

“I’m not tryin’ ‘t make you get surgery, Toki. ...But if you’ve got roots, they’re gonna loosen up- ‘n they probably are because Ren likes you back. But you can’t cough those up. You need ‘em medically removed-”

“No.”

“It won’t ruin your feelings.” Ranmaru sighs, exasperated. “Listen ‘t me, Toki. It’s the same as coughin’ up but you’re not gonna _die_ doing it.”

“I might not.”

“And the fact that you say _might_ is more than enough.” Ren finally speaks up, but his own voice is stern. “And I have no idea when you coughed up that rose, but you shouldn’t be speaking. I’m going to agree with Ran on this one. You need medical attention.”

And with that, they won’t entertain any more argument, and they don’t give Tokiya a chance to try, either, stopping him before he can talk. 

He starts coughing in the car- petals, but it’s from the full rose that’s beginning to push its way up his throat. 

He’s rushed very quickly into scans when the situation is explained- but he’s put out during them. Coughing up thorns was incredibly painful, after all. 

Tokiya doesn’t learn until after he’s awake again what happens, but from the pain in his chest and the grogginess from waking up from a medically induced unconsciousness, he can tell something did. He wakes up late at night, but he fumbles for his phone when he spots it on his nightstand, and he calls Ranmaru. 

It takes a few rings, and then it cuts to voicemail. Before Ranmaru’s voice mail message even ends, Tokiya’s phone vibrates with a text. 

**Ran**

_**Ran;** no talking_

A second follows shortly after. 

_**Ran;** dont even try leaving a voicemail_

Tokiya disconnects from the phone call to text Ranmaru back. 

_What happened?_

**_Ran;_ ** _you had a shit ton of thorns and vines in your lungs_  
**_Ran;_ ** _they got them out thank fuck_  
**_Ran;_ ** _said they were real loose but that it would have been surprising if you lived through coughing it out_  
**_Ran;_ ** _no talking for two weeks_  
**_Ran;_ ** _and i mean none_

Tokiya takes a long moment to respond with anything else- and his next text is spurred on by the fact that he really is _lonely_ , even if he had just woken up. 

_I want my penguin._

_**Ran;** ill send ren by with it tomorrow._

_I want you, too._

_**Ran;** ill be by soon as visiting hours start_  
_**Ran;** just listen to the doctors and youll be out soon_  
_**Ran;** love you babe_

_I love you._

Tokiya is asleep when they enter, and unfortunately he doesn’t wake up until nearly an hour into visiting hours, and it was because his phone had gone off. He wakes up to Ranmaru silencing it. 

“Was just a spam call, Toki. You can go back to sleep.”

Tokiya shakes his head, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up. When he sees Ren, his eyes lock onto the penguin in Ren’s hands, and he reaches out. Ren stands, to go to him, but Tokiya takes the stuffed animal- and it gets a a laugh from Ren and something that’s almost a snort from Ranmaru. 

“We’re real glad ‘t see you, too, Toki.”

“That was cute.” Ren smiles. He reaches out to gently pet through Tokiya’s hair. “I’m willing to give him a pass.”

“Count yerself lucky.” Ranmaru teases Tokiya, but when his hand replaces Ren to ruffle Tokiya’s hair, it’s just as gentle as Ren’s touch. 

“No more roses.” Ren sighs, switching into a more serious topic. His hand moves to carefully cradle the side of Tokiya’s face. “They got them all out. Two weeks of no talking, and two months of no singing. You’re going to be in the hospital for another week, while the cut over your chest heals.” His eyebrows furrow. “But you’re going to be alright.”

Tokiya’s eyes narrow- and he glances to his phone. Ranmaru hands it to him, and Tokiya types his question into the notepad with one hand, still hugging the penguin with the other.

_How did you get the doctors to tell you all of that?_

Ren glances at Ranmaru, and Tokiya notices Ranmaru scratching idly at the back of his neck. “I’m yer emergency contact. Might’a told ‘em we were married.”

Tokiya lets his head fall back, but his eye roll is good natured. 

_And how did you explain my disease?_

“Oh, it was a whole fuckin’ soap opera.” Ranmaru groans at the thought. “Ren had ‘t help me come up with the story.”

“You were in an arranged marriage, arranged by your families, and you had fallen for him but you were sure that he didn’t love you back and you managed to get yourself sick. You hid it until he saw the first, full rose. Ran isn’t the best actor-”

“Oi.”

“But he was really selling this one. And then one of the nurses called him out.”

“Apparently if the person yer into starts lovin’ you after you get the disease but doesn’t let you know, you start gettin’ worse faster.”

“And I’m sorry about that.” Ren’s expression turns into a wince. “I should have told you earlier. I wasn’t trying to draw it out- I was…”

Tokiya types as Ren trails off. 

_Afraid it wouldn’t work? It’s fine. I don’t blame you._

Tokiya brings his phone back, carefully shifting his penguin to type with both hands. 

_That sounds incredibly dramatic and it’s a shame I didn’t get to see Ran playing his part. I’m sure you’ve entertained the nurses on this shift._

“Real hollywood shit, Toki.”

Tokiya gives him an amused, if slightly dry smile. 

Ren is the one that brings it back to a more serious topic. “Did anything change, Toki?”

_If you mean my feelings about you- nothing has changed._

Ren sighs, relieved. “I’m glad.”

Tokiya’s attention goes back to his phone.

_Now. On a more serious note. I’ll follow the two week rule but I can’t take two_

Tokiya’s phone is taken from his hands by Ranmaru, who turns it off completely and puts it on his bedside table. As he speaks, Tokiya is left with a sour expression and Ren is left a bit bewildered.“We’re not doin’ this. I don’t negotiate with terrorists, Toki.”


End file.
